CBS Early Show anchor Harry Smith is suprisingly busy for a long-time-last-place-morning-show-host.  He biked nearly 30 miles in the rain and then danced all night at a birthday party, whose dance floor was lit only by an effigy of a completely bald  Matt Lauer - kidding! 

So Mr. "Life Is Not A Dress Rehearsal" did all of these things and then called in sick Monday morning, but it wasn't your average "I wish I hadn't drank all those Rum and Cokes at 4am on Sunday morning" sick day, he told his manager he very likely almost certainly has "Swine Flu".  Isn't it great when an overhyped news story becomes real?  Harry is like an infectious Pinocchio to Swine Flu's cruel Geppetto.  Katie never claimed she had SARS!  Oh yeah, she was never in last place for 20 years.

By the way, check back to Spillerup.com often over the next few days.  I just started bleeding from my eyes!

That's right, kidz!  I'll be live-blogging the  very special premiere of a show that nobody asked for and that I will likely NEVER watch again --it's must-see blogging tonight!

THRILL to Kanye West explaining why he did what he did that time!  HEAR Jerry Seinfeld's latest airplane-food jokes!  ELLA to Rhianna's UMBR! 

I'll  be posting regular updates through the comment section below this post and want to encourage all of my beloved readers to join in with your noble commentary!

We're going live at 10pm ET  to go live - please supply your comments below!

Last night's phantasm of an episode featured Betty tripping the baby fantastic as she Demerol-ed her way into motherhood yet again as Don developed a waiting-room drinking buddy who exposed Don's raw nerves about what it means to be a father - and ultimately, maybe a better person.  Duck quacked and Pete and Peggy joined him for lunch with a side of "woo" encouraging them to bring what he sees as their Machiavellian partnership to his new agency.  Pete pouted and walked at being treated as anything close to Peggy's professional equal (well, she did give his baby away without telling him and all...).

Some very nice moments including the trippy caterpillar scene with Betty.  With each episode I'm reminded how catnippy January Jones would have been to Alfred Hitchcock had they been contemporaries.  And it was nice to see Gene back in the fold as a ghostly janitor who declares his daughter "a cat!"  And I predict we're going to be seeing more of Sally's May-pole dancer teacher, who also drunkenly calls her student's parents at night.

I don't care for how AMC has "gotten cute" with next week's teasers, running a series of quick cut quotes so that you never know what to expect, but who's complaining?  Oh yeah, I just did...

(Editor's Note- Pop Culture Parallel Universe is a recurring feature on Spillerup.com wherein an actual current pop culture item will be reported with one major variable changed to create certain -to-be-hilarious results.)

HOLLYWOOD - Viewers were stunned tonight after controversial hip-hop artist Kanye West interrupted the Lifetime Achievement Emmy speech of beloved child actor Jonathan Taylor Thomas to proclaim that "Dakota Fanning is the greatest child actor of all time!"

West was greeted with a chorus of boos from the Emmy audience for taking the spotlight away from the recognition of  Thomas' seminal work in such acclaimed titles as Home Improvement, Man of the House, The Tangerine Bear and his breakthrough role as Kevin Brady in the early 90's short-lived hit revival The Bradys!

For her part, Ms. Fanning appeared embarassed by the attention and would later cede some of her time to Thomas when she was accepting her own award for her portrayal of Lilo in the hugely influential Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch.

"It was disgusting - Kanye couldn't care less about Jonathan - (Kanye) was just grandstanding to get attention," said Donald Trump, who had to be tracked for comment by reporters for several hours until he was finally reached at a quaint New England B&B where he was quietly contemplating life and Venezuelan women.  "I thought it was very classy of Dakota to give up her spotlight to JTT."

West later apologized to JTT on his blog, acknowledging that he was "wrong to go onto the stage and take away (from the specific) moment" when Television Academy members had chosen to honor Thomas' role as a guest timekeeper for 1995's WWE's WrestleMania XI.

Whitney gives good love to the cash registers at area Turtle's and Record Bar locations this week as her new album is set to debut at number 1 on Your Hit Parade this week, dispensing with certain-to-be-future-rehabber/kids-show-pole-dancer Miley Cyrus, who, like KISS, devilishly released her new tracks only at Wal-Mart(s). 

Houston's camp did the unusual and released her album on a Monday (9/1) when almost every album, DVD, book, etc. are generally released exclusively on Tuesdays.  The good news is that sales on Tuesday matched Monday's take of nearly 300k in sales, so it seems her reservoir of good will runs as deeply as Bobby's shamelessness.

It's nice to see Whitney back on top again (and not the top of the cover the The National Enquirer).  Early buzz I've heard on the album is that it's good, not great, but we'll take it, won't we Whitney fans?!

Have you heard the new album, beloved readers?  What say you?!

Listen, some of my best friends are Sex and The City fans.  They love that show where those 4 or 5 girls like to dress up in clothes that NY designers are testing out on their friends to see if they'll withstand the elements before they hit the runway and they all act like gay guys all the time and stuff.

I should acknowledge here that while I never really "got" the SATC uber-fascination, I did enjoy the last movie which I watched in a hotel room the night before a technology conference.  No really, I did.  I actually thought it did an excellent job of showing what a broken heart feels like and it also showed that Jennifer Hudson is better at being a broken-hearted Supreme than a broad comedic actress. 

Anyway, the sequel to the last one is now filming and I'm sure it's going to be just great at showing how - just like it did in every episode I ever saw - that empowered women still really do need a man to be complete.

Tis' indeed great news for a Tuesday or any other day as AMC has already announced it has renewed the multiple-emmy award winning Mad Men for a 4th season.

While the show is only three episodes into its current third season, it certainly didn't hurt that ratings have doubled year over year and that the show attracts "the most upscale audience on basic cable". 

This means we won't have to wait an eternity for another season as we did this year while contract negotiations with executive producer Matthew Weiner dragged on and on.

Vive le Betty and Don!  May your lives continue to be so beautifully fraught with misery!