Aug
17
Kings In Sam’s Service?! KISS To Sell New Album Only At Wal-Mart, Plan To Buy Eyeshadow In Bulk At Sam’s Club
By
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Despite the very focused intentions of neighbor kids and certain Satanic-leaning cousins, I never really "got" KISS. But to be sure, I never begrudged anyone else's affinity for a bunch of guys who wore tons of makeup, BDSM wear and hair obviously laquered with enough Final Net to pull the ozone layer back like a moon roof. Their music just wasn't my style - that's all. Maybe they were just too intense - too edgy.
So what to make of their announcement that they will only be selling their forthcoming album in the least edgy place in all of Christendom - Wal-Mart? Isn't this the retailer who thinks Tiger Beat is too risque?
It's true that other bands who are, ahem, veteran rockers have gone the Wal-route to great success - the Eagles for example. Hmmm, another band whose most famous song Hotel California reportedly touted the Church of Satan (at least according to every revival preacher I ever heard). Is Wal-Mart selling low prices every day or eternal soul enticements every which-a-way?
Anywhoo, what do you think of this odd-couple pairing where KISS meets the favorite store of the Great Unwashed? Have they sold out? Wait, before you answer that, you must watch this clip of KISS performing on the (I'm not making this up) Paul Lynde Halloween Special and let it color your comments accordingly. See? They've done odd pairings before!
Comments
Perhaps this has something to do with that rebranding last year when Wally-mart began to worship the sun god. Seemed innocent enough at the time – a simple child like drawing of the sun on a pleasant blue background. Now I see it is something much bigger. “We’re rolling back prices not with a bouncing happy face, but with our new Pagan charriot!”
I’ll give you a P&L statement:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9tlj3xBf5w